Dear Shoppers Drug Mart, why oh why must you fail me each and every time that I'm in a rush? what the hell is that all about anyways? i mean I've known the universe was against me from the start. I'm not deluded into believing that lady luck is on my side, but today was yet another low in my personal customer service experience. and to really stick it to me this time you blew it twice in one week. now that's special.
I do give you props though for your strategy. I mean i walk in and you have 10 staff members loitering behind the counter creating the illusion that indeed my time here will be brief because one of them will greet me as i approach the till, promptly serve me and get me on my way. . .. PSYCH!!!!
Instead i feel like an exhibit at the ZOO or some type of medical experiment gone wrong, as i stand there holding awkwardly too many items (because i thought I'd be tended to quickly eliminating my need for a basket). All the while the genetic reject lottery winners you've hired stare blankly at me, "Apparently" oblivious to my irritability, discomfort and growing case of carpel tunnel.
The least you could do is hire attractive employees, like the Thunder from Down Under Guys for example. At least if i have to wait there for hours on end they'd be easy on the eyes and somewhat entertaining. And let's be serious, nobody minds when strippers take their time. But the fact is that your current employees are a far cry from exotic dancers and therefore have nothing to make up for their inability to perform their job in a way that could be mistaken for speed or efficiency.
Maybe in an effort to save your reputation you should consider handing out sedatives in combination with muscle relaxants when customers enter your store. This would take the proverbial edge off, giving them a small feeling of euphoria and lowering their stress, effectively making them more docile, co-operative and less impatient. Just a suggestion.
sincerely,
Had it with you.
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