Sunday, December 22, 2013

I love you and other swear words

“I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot... believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible ... Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

I know how it is—we all want to be mysterious. None of us want to get hurt. None of us want to look desperate. So we wait to respond to texts, phone calls, emails, Facebook messages, Tweets. So we communicate our emotions in how we end our messages (no period this time? Really gonna get them.). So we say vague, half-statements and expect people to read our minds.

But what if we died?

What if the last thing you ever texted that girl was, “I don’t know, whenever,” when she asked when she should come over, even though you really really wanted to see her right now? What if you were head-over-heels in lust with some beautiful human, but you chose to wait 15 seconds before texting them back, only to never get the chance to text them at all?

 But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans."

— Rachel C. Lewis



This.. this right here, is how I try to live my life. Want to live my life. With passion, without regrets, without fear. It doesn't always work. Sometimes, Some days, fear gets the best of me. Especially once I fully understand the implications, the real life repercussions of diving in head first, putting on that brave face and embracing the beauty in another. Giving them the parts of me that are my most sacred, most breakable without a second thought. Until... that second thought. Far too late. Usually after I'm completely and unshakably in love. After I've let their roots grow deep under my skin, taking hold and wrapping themselves securely and permanently around my heart. Long after I am, unflinchingly theirs. 

That, is when I second guess. When I get fearful. When I assess.

When I try to prove to myself that I can still be fine on my own. That I won't be wrecked, just in case.
But even then, I know that it's too late. And if there isn't a chance that they can leave me in ruins, then I never really let them in, then they never really meant that much to me... then I never really loved them.

Except that I did. And they do. Or I wouldn't have to try and prove the opposite.

I ask myself if I'll ever grow out of this... then I remember something my love wrote, about keeping the pain close, so we don't forget, so we don't take for granted, so we always appreciate and keep perspective, and I answer my own question.

So everyday becomes an inward battle to humble myself, put away my pride, my fears that I am not loved as much as I love. And instead to love that much harder. To hide nothing, to keep nothing from the ones I love.

To never hold back. To let my love for them just be.

That's why we feel isn't it?

What are hands for, if not for holding?

And lips un-kissed, or love unspoken?

Why else do we exist if not for this?

To love.








 


Saturday, October 26, 2013

This years X-mas wish list

I don't need to be loved. I don't need to be needed....I need to be wanted.
I want to be the thing that moves you.
That sets you on fire, and watches it spread...
Igniting your mind, your heart,
Filling you with passion
I want to be the thing that makes your lips wish that they were kissing instead of talking.

I need to be wanted.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A lot of little things...

A lot of little things is what I needed.
A lot of little things is what broke me.
what wore me down.
what made me cry
what ruined the truth
what created a lie.

A lot of little things that you never said.
A lot of little things that could have changed it.
That could have fixed it.
That might have stopped the tears.
That built the walls between.
That turned hope into fear.

A lot of little things are most piercing.
A lot of little things are now reminders.
To keep me present.. and guarded.
To ensure that I'm strong at my core.
To never believe in words without action.
To make me mine, and not yours.

A lot of little things...
Still knock me off my feet...
Still suck my breath from me...
Still stop my heart mid-beat...
Still take me day to day...

An observation. A work of fiction, a walking fact.

After listening to him talk about you. I came to the conclusion that either he doesn't know you or…I don't.
He spoke for the longest time about a you that didn't exist to me, leaving me with nothing more than maybes... maybe you've never let me in, maybe you've never let me really see you, maybe the joke was on me.

My heart sank at the thought, as I knew that it would be rather easy I suppose, to hide things from me and only show me that which you wanted to present, seeing as we only spend a few hours here or there.
But it would be much more difficult to hide yourself from one that you share your days and nights with, occupying the same space. Being observed by them constantly.

So here I am now. Left with this. This new and unsettling reality that you are in fact a stranger to me in many ways. That my world has shifted and changed on an unseen level.

That I've never felt more alone.

Scarier yet, that that feels safer to me now, and that part of me wants to keep it that way...

The Slow Burn


I'm tired 
Of being nice.
Of talking.
I don't want to talk anymore.
I want to fuck.
Hard.
I want to tear your clothes off,
And not say please.
I want to press my lips against your neck,
Press your body against the wall,
And hear your sharp exhale of surprise.
Hear your slow moan of pleasure.
Hear the sound escape your lips,
When I lick your throat,
When I slide my hand between your legs. 
To bury my face in your hair and inhale the sweet scent of you.
To feel your heart hammering against my chest.
And your thighs instinctively climb my hips, tighten around me and squeeze.
To feel the weight of you on top of me. 
To be crushed by your mouth.
To forget about propriety and manners.
To be consumed by excitement and passion.
To map every inch of your skin with my finger tips and tongue.
And do it all again just for fun.
I want to take you in my mouth and make you mine for the moment. 
Make you forget about everything else except pleasure,
and want,
and need,
and burn,
and beg...
for more...
for release.
Watch your eyes close as you let go and give in. 
I want to fuck you.
And I don't want to say please.


------




"Because Of You"

Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't


Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave


I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it


And it’s all because of you
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
 





Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Let it all fall off of you.. let them all fall away, each and every one...

Look at me.. and listen, really listen, and let my words fill your open heart and feel the truth in them.
 
I want you to breathe...
Breathe deep, look out your window at the vastness of this world,
and then..
let them ALL...fall away.
 
It's just you, you and your bright and shinning future, replete with love and authenticity.
Excitement and promise are all laid out in front of you, ready for your complete and unwavering attention, ready for all of your love and energy, ready to be taken in your hands, ready to be walked and explored by your beautiful mind.
 
So Fuck'em all.
 
They can't touch you, they don't hold a candle to you.
 
Smile, and breathe and move forward.
 
Your life is waiting for you.
 
 
------


 

 
 "Shake It Out"

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn
 
And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah
 
 

Monday, July 8, 2013

Dear Heart,

I recently had a conversation with a friend, she told me that I was the most romantic person she'd ever met when it came to the way I looked at the world, and how I pursued and gave myself over to the things that move me. She said that she'd never met anyone who loved bigger, without regard and hesitation. That from her perspective I just literally threw my heart at the things and people who could break it, professing their impact and importance. "Telling it like it is" to quote her.

My response was, "Who the fuck are you talking about? I am huge on hesitation, I am constantly weighing my feelings, the potential impact of voicing them, and I am terrified of being anything more than alone. Me I love, Me I trust (most of the time), Me I am safe with. Others? Well that is fear and desire rolled into a perpetual conscious battle between my heart and mind."

Heart Vs. Mind

She said, "I'm not saying that you don't fear, that you don't get scared. I'm saying that your passion and desire for expression is stronger and in the end, after the wrestling match, your heart refuses to be caged and you can`t stop yourself from giving it all. Whether spoken or not, it's done. Over time, the quieter you get, the more you care, because you feel it deeper and deeper, the love penetrating the next level of your being, growing roots, embedding itself, becoming part of you. Not just something that you allowed yourself to participate in, but something that you allowed to entwine itself, living in you. I've seen you do it before. And I'm in awe, just once in my life I want to feel what I see in your eyes when you talk about someone who moves you, someone you can't help but love, someone your heart connects with.

But I've also seen you broken. .. and that's why I am mesmerized by what you are capable of. How even after that, your heart can't stop itself, and even though your Mind tries, it never had a chance. It's beautiful... and tragic. It's the good and the bad. It's perfect in symmetry, darkness and light, forever tipping the scales one way or the other, always seeking balance."

Everything she said was true. Whether I care to admit it or not, I can't not speak when moved. Can't not give that moment everything I have, all of my energy, focus, love, intensity, because I don't want to miss it. I don't want to miss the magic, the chance to be changed, the moment of actual connect, that tangible link to another, however brief it may be is also powerful beyond words. The split second of recognition, of truth and depth, of fragility and fierce vulnerability when someone or something lets you in, and you see the unveiling of the soul.

Unbound.
Unrestrained.
Uncovered.
Unarmed.

Remarkable.
Stunning.
Staggering.
Breathtaking.

So here I sit, thinking she's right. It's amazing how someone can know you just by observing, given time, and patience. Here I sit thinking, my heart has no chance, I will go through this life, being broken and healed, broken and healed, and broken again. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Not if it means missing that moment. Besides, I'd be lying to myself if I were to think for one second that I can control or change my heart. It is the core of me and guides me along this path, in darkness and light, leading me to where it is I need to be. It is forever seeking...

Dear Heart,

I'll hold your hand.
Please don't let go of mine.

Always yours in this life and the next,
Christine

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Loose change and the curb you call home

I'm falling so fast,
I can't keep up.
It doesn't matter,
that's just my luck.
Was it always this dark in here?
I don't remember this...
It's not the same.
Seems that time just drifts away..
Floats from me,
Flees from me,
and then it's gone.
Out of reach, out of sight.
This darkness hurts my eyes.
It's so dim in here, it burns and stings,
I'll close them for now, and I'm hearing things.
Can you hear it?
Can you hear the shadows dance?
Can you feel them slap your hands?
I'm it? I can't be it. I've never been it...
I don't want to play.
Please someone, turn on the light?
I open my eyes, and again I'm alone.
Where is everyone? Have the shadows run home?

Hey buddy, can you spare a dime?
Can I use your phone?
What do you mean, 'for what'?
to call someone, anyone!
They should really know where I am...

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The green light in my eyes...

Whisper to me all the pretty things,
say them in darkness and dreams.
Tell me all the promises,
that you give to the naive.

Hold your head against my heart,
lean in and make your home.
Press your lips against my cheek,
mark me, make me your own.

If you are my undoing,
I'll kneel and humbly fall,
Crumbing beneath your gaze...
losing all resolve.

Inside tremors come and go,
Your eyes shake me to the core.
Then you say the words, 'I love you'
And all I want is more...

and more...

and more...

------

"Now there’s green light in my eyes,
And my lover on my mind.
And I’ll sing from the piano, tear my yellow dress and,
Cry and cry and cry.

‘Cause you’re a hard soul to save,
With an ocean in the way,
But I’ll get around it,
I’ll get around it."


- Florence + The Machine

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I alone

I will never ask of you what is not in your heart to give to me. I will never pursue you if your heart does not desire it to be so. I will love you then as you wish me to, across distance and time. Waiting for your words... for your heart to speak in need, and call me to your side. Until then..

I...alone, will love you in silence, and surrender my heart in passionate poise.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

In passing...

When we meet an old friend or flame, there is that feeling of connect, of reminisce, that moment of recognition in your heart, some would call it missing. But the more I think about it I don't think it's them that we miss as much as that part of us that we left them with. That is why when we initially see them it's like coming home, feeling whole if just for a second, but then everything else attaches itself. The history, the memories, the circumstances, either happy, sad, or scared depending on how we left that relationship. All of us wondering around like parents who share custody of the bits of us birthed in that relationship and then left there, only given periodic visitation. Never knowing when or where... just adjusting and trying to see ourselves in the moments.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

How do I fail thee, let me count the ways...

Today, I broke.
Down.
In two.
I broke myself.
Intentionally.
Carefully. .. I thought.
Controlled break for the greater good.
But feelings flow like chemicals in a gaseous state,
letting just a little out is virtually impossible.
With every word, the corresponding emotion blew through me like a cold wind.
And before I knew it
I was frozen, and a final simple thought,
pushed me over..
and I fell.
Shattering into a million tiny little pieces.
Again.

I broke myself today.
In an effort to be transparent,
to build something completely new,
with a strong foundation.
That meant letting go old things.
Things that had been rooted in me,
keeping me, in a lot of ways imprisoning me.

Funny I actually thought that I could do this,
break myself down, willingly,
and then pick up those pieces and
place them back carefully,
like professional bomb maker of sorts.
After all I know the lay out better than anyone...
but nothing is ever that simple.
Especially not feelings.

Today,
I failed.
I failed as a friend, as a mother, as a daughter, as a Mrs, as a wife.
I failed myself too.
And to all of you, I'm sorry.
I tried to be better, but I'm not.

Tomorrow however is another chance for me to try.
And this I promise all of you that I love and hold so dear,
I will try, my very best, to be better.
To be the friend, mother, daughter, Mrs and Wife that you deserve.

....Just give me today....to find my light again.





Sunday, April 21, 2013

"Life has to end,' she said. 'Love doesn't."

"There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently,
than ten thousand tongues.
They are the messengers of overwhelming grief...
and unspeakable love."
-Washington Irving

Remembering you is easy, its missing you so much that is the hard part...

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

For my love...dark things and all...

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries itself in the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love, a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

- Pablo Neruda border:solid 1px white;

Saturday, April 6, 2013

No More

I used to hear your voice and follow it around,
down into the dark and everywhere you went, worried if I didn't that you'd be alone again.
You used to give me pieces left over from the others,
But there were parts that you held back, to keep them undercover.
Always waiting for that someone that would give you what you wanted.
For years I waited patiently, my open heart left haunted.
But that was then and this is now, my heart's moved on,
grown strong,
and shut down... where "we" are concerned.
Time lending its consoling arms, gave me perspective, resolve in clarity,
And in breaking the ties that bound, I utter each word in sincerity,

So hear me...
We are no more.
We are a was, not an is.
My hearts not yours.
I can't be more clear than this.

I feel nothing.

I hear your voice, but I don't follow you around.
You're in the dark but I'm not coming down.
You're alone, still waiting for that someone to give you what you wanted,
But it's not me, and so you'll wait there haunted,
holding all the parts of you that you kept for yourself,
waiting for a light to shine and show you a way out.
There will be others.
They will line up at your door,
pledge all their love, loyalty and more.
Their hearts wide open, their longing growing by the hour,
And you'll drink it in, and in the end, their hearts devour.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs

Friday, March 8, 2013

To the walking wounded, the next step is yours...

I want to talk about labels, ones others give us and ones we give ourselves. Ones that we take and make into badges and wear them, some of us, letting them define who we are.

I'm here to say don't.

I'm here to say that what happens to you doesn't become you, it doesn't encompass you or dictate who you are as a person, not without your ok. Not without your consent. Now I'm not saying that these events, relationships "successful" or "failed", moments of love and loss, a first kiss or the death of a loved one don't contribute to shaping who you are, that they don't impact you in very real and deeply profound ways. All of these things give you an opportunity to shape yourself, through promise, through pain, or through fear. You either choose to grow and overcome, to keep hope alive and live everyday preparing for the next good thing, or to accept defeat, to succumb to the weight of whatever knocked you down, and broke your heart and stay there, preparing for the next bad thing. You choose life, now, here, present. Or you choose to live as the walking dead, wasting every single precious moment that you have that could have been more...

Labels.... badges... identity. What do you want to identify yourself with? Who are you?

Because I need to tell you something ... You are more than just a pretty face. You are more than your bank account. You are more than your race. You are more than your sexual orientation. You are more than your divorce. You are more than your depression. You are more than your disability. You are more than your rape. You are more than your abortion. You are more than the abuse that you endured. You are more than the leftovers of someones else's mistakes and bad choices and failings, and YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR OWN.

You are not fat, or ugly, or stupid, or weak. Or unworthy. Or unwanted. Or unseen.

So today, ask yourself, "who am I?" And when you answer be good to yourself, be kind, be loving, be compassionate, be supportive, be all the things you would be to someone that you loved above all else.

Because you deserve that same kind of love, and acceptance and encouragement.

More importantly stop looking for it in others, because your own opinion of yourself is the one that matters most, and other people will always fall short, and disappoint you at sometime, they are human. You need to be able to have self-sustaining love for your own self, then when you give your love to another it won't be because you need it from them in return, because you are empty, it will be because you are so full that you can't help but give it away.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

"I think at this point in our world, we've got a really confused idea of the way gender and sexuality works. I think we've created this really superfluous sort of like binary in the way we think about gender. And I guess I identify with queer because I don't identify with that. I think that makes us less whole as people. I don't need to be assigned to what it is I can do or who I can love. And it seems like we keep drawing these battle lines which are completely unnecessary. So that's what I basically mean. When I say I'm queer, I'm saying that I think human beings are amazing. And love is an honour and an opportunity. And a fragile thing. A fragile process in which there is no room for doubt, or shame, or hatred." - Ezra Miller.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

From My Heart to Yours..

"I vow to love you fiercely in all your different forms, with the patience that love demands. I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to live in the warmth of your heart and always call it home." - The Vow

I choose to be with you for all the things you've done right, and not to leave you for the things that you've done wrong. I promise to accept and love you for who you are and not for who I want you to be. To keep your heart safe and to let you into mine. I promise to be honest with you, even when it's hard, when it hurts, even when I'm scared.

I promise to always kiss you good night and warm my feet on yours. And to sing to you when your heart's sad. To tell you I love you as many times as you need to hear it. "I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions" - Augusten Burroughs, this is what I have to offer, it may not be much but I will love you with every ounce of it. I promise to hold your heart in my hands and give you all that I am. To be all in. 

Thursday, February 28, 2013

"Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you will ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is you want..." - Janet Fitch: White Oleander

I am blessed to have found the very great exception.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

And so I wait...

I can't remember the last time I felt this way.... so void.... so empty....despondent to the heart of me....
alone, always. And yet at the same time so full...

....So full that I overflow with something that wells up from within me. The way a bucket filled with water will slowly reach it's capacity and suddenly spill over. Unable to hold or carry the weight of it's contents any longer.

I think that's what it is. That I am full. Overwhelmed. There is no room left in me. Everyone keeps giving me their tears, their angers, their sorrows; their pain so affectingly palpable that I have no room left to console myself. Parts of them washing over me, leaving emotional traces of each one on my clothes, my hair. Their scent seemingly something only I can smell, intermingling with mine; and no matter how hard I try, I can't scrape them from me. My mind not mine anymore, now an assisted living facility for every broken heart without a home. Hurts abandoned and left to linger in shelter as their owners adopt new wounds to care for.

I am transparent. Unseen, unheard, unfelt by those I love so dearly.
I'm so tired. Too tired to breathe today....too tired to try.

It feels as though I stay silent for so long, waiting for something, someone to feel all that I feel, and think. Someone who could really know me, without explanation, without words. To find solace in the simple honest silence of a heart that sees all...and yet, holds you still.

Time...time....time.....passes. More and more I feel it coming and leaving, leaving an imprint in that moment. I carry it with me, on me, in me.

Holding on for dear life to anything that feels real, and true.

Soon something, some moment will lift me, up above the physical constraints of this body, to a level of intimacy so deep that I will sink in the comforting beauty of it. I will drown myself in it and let it have all of me.

Then everything will move on again and I will be renewed.

Reborn....for a while at least.

And with that my soul will find rest.

Until then, I will remain... a ghost, watchful, awake and longing... for the me that comes alive in that one moment passing by...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My Diagnosis

Lets talk for a moment about how absolutely crazy I've been as of late. I have been happy and somber, elated and devestated, high as a crackwhore and down in the depths. More accurately I've been swimming around in them in fact, not all that eager to leave. Why? Good question. Lets take a close look shall we? Personally I think there are a number of contributing factors to my current mental state.

A) Not enough quality one on one time with my loves. With the people closest to me, the ones who know me inside and out, where time with them is easy and effortless. Where it doesn't matter where we are because being around them is so completely natural to me that it feels like home regardless of the venue. Because the truth is that being in their presence makes me immediately step up, they inspire me to be the very best version of me. Simply because I want the best for them. I want to give them my best. Period.

Without this, I'm gonna be a lost cause every time. It throws my emotional balance off. Given enough time apart or alone I begin to isolate and internalize everything. I become quiet and observant, taking it all in. .. holding it and analyzing it over and over until often it no longer carries the meaning intended but some perversion of the truth created by my insecurities. Left alone too long, I can convince myself that that is exactly what I need.. to be alone, that that is how it should be. At times I just can't get myself out of my head and frankly it's exhausting.

B) Winter's a fucker. Winter and it's below hypothermic in 10 seconds without a house around you as a barrier is bullshit. Then it decides to partner with the sun and really fuck you over by saying, " hey sun dude, take a break, you've earned it, working hard all summer. I got this. I'll just through up a few grey clouds and some whip up some howling winds and viola! Depression. Grey is so trendy these days! Nothing like a dismal abyss weatherwise and a severe lack of Vitamin D to really put a little pep in your step." yeah, the Belljar is unfortunately conveniently located right next to my King Size bed that I'm already a big fan of and rather well acquainted with. So there's that.

C) I'm a going on 8yrs sleep deprived mother of two amazing kids, kids that I love and adore, kids that I will do absolutely anything for, they are my heart. ...kids that need a lot. From me. Of me. All of me. All of the time. Seriously. ALL OF THE TIME. I'm tired. So tired in fact that even when I do get the chance to sleep, I can't. Because I've crossed the point of no return and I am actually TOO TIRED TO SLEEP . ...Nooooooooooooooooo!!!..... (No this is not a myth, it is a real place parents, usually mothers go to functionally die. This means that the are pretty much "Zombie" Moms, that still function physically, walking around, making lunches, dusting things, but are mentally dead.)

D) I've been working through somethings, things that I'm saying good bye to from my past because it's time, things from my present that need to become my past, and those are all difficult things and it doesn't get done in a day. No matter how much I'd like it to. And so I have good days and bad ones. More good than bad I can happily say.

E) I'm a female.. (No really, put two and two together I shouldn't have to spell this shit out for anyone.)

F) I'm in love and that will just forever be the messiest most worthwhile rollarcoaster ride of absolute magical bliss and terror that I never want to get off. (Well... except when I want to "get off", if you know what I mean;)

Ahh now that's more like it. See I feel better already. Just talking it out with myself and some tunes. All is right with the world. As it should be....

Final Diagnosis: Full on Looney Tunes. Upside, I make a straight jacket look hot.



Wednesday, February 13, 2013

6ft Under

"You have my permission not to love me;
I am a cathedral of deadbolts
and I'd rather burn myself down
than change the locks."
-Rachel McKibbens; "Letter From My Brain To My Heart"

Our hearts were tethered together.
but I brought the hurt, so now I'll make it better.
My only way out is to cut myself.
Left for dead, and put back on the shelf.

Nothing worth a damn costs less than it all.
So I gave you my breath,
because I was starting to fall..
for you.

Until I read the words that you said.
Now I'm retreating to the darkness within.
Writing down memories, trying to expel,
those words and feelings that cut me to hell.
Cut to my heart, cut to my core.
Sliced me clean through, still thirsty for more.

My "I told you so's" berating me,
salting the wounds,
purifying through pain,
with scars that still bloom.
To make sure I never forget,
this absence of air and the taste of regret.

So still and silent,
cold and quiet,
I box up my heart...
and lay down beside it.
And listen to it say,
that I just shouldn't be,
tethered to a heart,
that I only make bleed.

------

"We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so..."


- Sarah Mclachlan

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

"Our lives are not our own.  From womb to tomb we are bound to others. Past and present.  And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our futures." - Cloud Atlas

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Yellow Light - Proceed with caution .. and joy.. and freedom.. and love

 "I would lie in bed and try to vanish. I was not old enough to understand what death was, exactly, but I recognized loss; I understood it was a kind of absence and I was determined to become that. I would close my eyes so tight I saw stars, I truly believed I could stay inside the hard clenched black and flip myself inside-out, becoming the reversal of light. Often, I would pray myself into a catatonic state: Let me go away. Let me stay in the dark. Let me be gone, over and over until the sun came up. I would go several days without sleeping, trying to manifest my end with heartbroken prayer. Sit for hours in front of the television, staring into the static between channels. I mistook the humming of my sleep deprived brain as a step closer to vanishing. It was the only thing I wanted. All the time." - Rachel McKibbens, The Ghost Daughter Speaks.

I read this and I couldn't keep it out. It was like someone was narrating moments from my life. It felt impossible, could it be that I was not alone? That someone saw me in that darkness and wrote down all my secrets? That's what I thought initially, instinctively. It made me feel.. naked, and heard. It's crazy how someone else can put words to your feelings and give your heart a voice when despite all the ways you tried and wanted to, so desperately, you could never seem to find them. The emotional and verbal paralysis that happens when your mind tries to save you by silencing you. But silence is the loudest voice of all. Replaying memories like film on a projector that never stops turning. I read this and it immediately takes me back, back to every night when this was my prayer. To just let me fall asleep and in the morning be gone. Be nothing. Be safe. Life is a scary place when the people that are supposed to protect you, hurt you instead. And you know it must be bad when a child's sweet dream is the one where the darkness protects her. Where if she could just find the right place to hide, from even herself, then finally there would be calm. Where the monsters in her closet are no where near as terrifying as the ones walking free in the daylight. Reading this, something let go in me, and I could feel myself breathing.. really breathing. I remember thinking how foreign it felt. And in that moment I realized that I'd been holding it for years, decades even. I wondered then, if I'd been holding my breath since that night, as scared to let it go and be heard as it was to leave me? And all these years and relationships later I finally understood why my breath always seemed to believe that it was safer staying right inside of me.

In spite of all of this I can honestly say I fought against myself, against every self preserving instinct I've ever had, when it's come to love. Always. I've turned myself inside out, and upside down, to be all the things that I want to, need to, to the ones I love. And in the process I've broken and re-broken myself, starting over again and again, forgiving them and myself for falling short, for disappointing and failing. And then choosing to get up the next day and start again.. because it's worth it. It will ALWAYS be worth it. Because I can't keep having my sweetest dreams be ones where I'm alone in the dark. Because as comforting and consoling and safe as that dark feels for me, there is one thing I will never find there... the warmth of another heart that loves me. There isn't room for that there, that is something I will only ever have if I can step into the light. It's hard too, the light, because there everyone can see you, and you can really see yourself, and there is no safe place to hide. The light of another's love exposes all, but it does something even more profound if you let it... it accepts all, and loves all. Not in spite of but because of.

So I'm ready to take a walk in the sun, to bask in the sun, to work on my tan even, but I am fair and fragile, so for safety sake I will be responsible and wear a little SPF. But I'm looking for a place to start...

------

"I'm looking for a place to start,
And everything feels so different now.
Just grab a hold of my hand,
I will lead you through this wonderland.
Water up to my knees,
But sharks are swimming in the sea.
Just follow my yellow light
And ignore all those big warning signs.

Somewhere deep in the dark
A howling beast hears us talk.
I dare you to close your eyes
And see all the colors in disguise.
Running into the night,
The earth is shaking and I see a light.
The light is blinding my eyes
As the soft walls eat us alive."


- Of Monsters and Men


Friday, February 1, 2013

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." -  Mary Oliver

Sunday, January 27, 2013

After the Storm

I raced around, trying to catch the words as they fell out of my mouth.
But they were slippery, and they ran to you.
Your heart tricked mine.
So I stayed the fool...   because I loved you.

I should have been more careful,
with the wishes that my heart made,
with the dreams that began to fade,
into nightmares with no wake.

You were so careful,
in mapping out the route, that I went were I was led.
Listening to 'I love you's'.. while you were fucking with my head.
Your betrayal wrapped warm, with smiles and good intentions.

I should have been more careful,
while you were polishing your lies,
but I never saw them coming because you kept them all inside.
Constructing your illusions, whispering sweet intrusions, into the corners of my mind.

You were so careful,
with the words that you used,
perfectly picked to deceive and abuse,
a love that would have walked with you forever.

Now you race around, trying to find the words that use to fall out of my mouth.
but they're not here anymore.
Your heart tricked mine.
And I was a fool...  to have loved you.

------

"Every night that goes between
I feel a little less
As you slowly go away from me
This is only another test

Every night you do not come
Your softness fades away
Did I ever really care that much?
Is there anything left to say?

Every hour of fear I spend
My body tries to cry
Living through each empty night
A deadly calm inside

I haven't felt this way I feel
Since many a years ago
But in those years and the lifetime's past
I did not deal with the road

And I did not deal with you, I know
Though the love has always been
So I search to find an answer there
So I can truly win

Every hour of fear I spend
My body tries to cry
Living through each empty night
A deadly calm inside

So I try to say goodbye, my friend
I'd like to leave you with something warm
But never have I been a blue calm sea
I have always been a storm"


- Fleetwood Mac 




Sunday, January 6, 2013

35 & Counting...

                                     
As I get older, I realize how not 'grown up' I really am.  I realize more and more how little I really know, how much I still have to learn.. about others, about myself.  And at first these thoughts scared me. Terrified me, sometimes I even let them cripple me. But then there was this other thought. The thought that it's all out of my control. That in these things I'm powerless, and that I just had to let go. To keep putting one foot in front of the other and it would be ok. To trust in that thought and to try and embrace the fear of the unknown. To allow myself to live in the moment, and to try my hardest not to spend my every waking moment worrying about tomorrow and the things and hurts that may never come. It was a great thought. And every morning I wake up, and I tell myself that today is another new day that I'm going to try to do it again, that I'm going to try to learn something new, and in the process become... something new. But I'm old enough to know that sometimes becoming something new means letting go of something old.


------

                                     You Learn

              "After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

              
               And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.



And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,



And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
 

And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.



After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.



So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.



And you learn that you really can endure…



That you really are strong



And you really do have worth…



And you learn and learn…



With every good-bye you learn."
 
- Jorge Luis Borges