Once upon a Monday morning .....

There was a sleep deprived masochistic mother who decided to take her children for a leisurely morning walk, in her recently purchased "double-wide" stroller/mini-bus. So there I am, the kids all packed in, cruising along, or so I thought, when a woman and her stroller fly by me. hmm... I didn't think much of it and continued on my way.

Moments later 2 more moms, strollers in tow, pass by me in tandem, at what I would say was a rapid pace. This time however I got the "look" or the "stink-eye" as I refer to it, from one of them. Like i should have moved out of the way? Welllll, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that this sidewalk was the "fast" lane. Here allow me to move my 2 ton stroller complete with my 2 kids who weigh the equivalent of a pack mule, over to the 4ft x 4ft section of grass that requires an all terrain vehicle to navigate through, all so you don't miss a stride. Yeah, like that's going to fucking happen.

I was enjoying my pace, the day, being alive. I make no apologies that I don't feel the need to "Power Walk" and blackberry, every fucking second of the day. Like take a pill, settle the fuck down and breathe. If you are in that much of a hurry, then here's a thought, T-A-K-E..Y-O-U-R..C-A-R!! It's called a sidewalk for a reason, not a siderun or a siderude. You wanna street race your strollers? Go ahead, take it to the blacktop and giver but don't shoot me the side glare or the over the shoulder quick shot steely stare. For two reasons:
1) I'm not intimidated.
2) Your writing checks your ass can't cash and Mama likes to rumble;)

So just as I'm calming myself and advising myself that I'm an adult and just to ignore it, the other mom looks back at me, tilts her head to the side and hits me with the full on, "awwww, that's too bad" pity look and head shake.

Seriously?!

At this point my self control went out the window and I flipped her the bird, loud and proud. What can I say it was a weak moment. She's lucky I didn't go all Steven Seagal on her ass!! I'm telling you, I was this close to pulling out the beat stick and dropping her where she stood. Whoopaw!! Whoopaw! I DO NOT need to be patronized by stroller moms in matching track suits and headsets. Like what, you each have ONE baby in those strollers? What's that weigh? Maybe 12lbs a piece? Give me a break. I eat 12lbs babies for breakfast. What else ya got? huh! Bring it on.

I would have taken them both out, but I'm a lady, and there where children present. It was their lucky day.
After that I picked up my coffee and all was right with the world once more.

The End.