why doesn't God just hand out maps?

Seriously? I NEED a map. I mean I know that He has a plan for me, and that He works in all things for His good purposes? That He's started a good work in me and will continue it until the day that I am with Him in heaven.

And all of that makes me happy, makes me smile, gives me hope. it does.

But sometimes I just wish that He'd mail me instructions or a map just for parts of it. Sometimes I feel like He just gives me too much credit with the whole,"listen for my voice", watch for signs, kind of things. I'm actually not always the super genius that I appear to be. And anyone who knows me knows that often I get VERY distracted and miss things.

That was/is the whole purpose for my fasting.(yes, i'm still working on that)
I'm still working on a lot of things about me. I've realized that almost every decision in my life is a choice that I have to re-make, and concentrate on every morning when I get up. This is a whole new concept to me, because I was under the delusion that once I made a decision that that was how the reality for that situation was from that point on. But as it turns out, you need have "action follow through" meaning that everyday in order for that decision to exist in reality you have to choose to ACT in a way that backs up that decision and makes it exist in reality EVERYDAY.

Crazy.

That's when I say where's my map? I need some direction career wise, future wise, don't we all? but I really do. I feel it inside me. My BFF once told me that I'm a passionate person (she said that because I don't like it when she calls me dramatic...patoow ) but I am passionate about a lot of things, and that side of me really feels like there is something HUGE that I'm missing when it comes to my career/future. I want to do something of worth and real value. With all the listening that I've been doing lately this seems to be the only vague thing that my heart is hearing. I know God whispers but sometimes I wish that He'd just stand in front of me with a sandwich board and point and yell like the Ceasar's pizza kid on the corner.

If you're my mom you'd tell me that He's teaching me patience. I know. I know.

So for now I will continue to quiet myself and listen. Be still and wait.

Any girl scout will tell you, when you are lost and directionless in the woods, don't walk anywhere, just sit tight in one spot and someone will find you.

So, here I sit. Waiting for directions.