Man oh man where do I start? South I suppose! (ba dum ching!!) I'm about to tackle a touchy and sensitive subject,(Pun intended) so for those of you who are offended, then I'm sorry you are a prude and I advise you at this point to stop reading as you will quickly find yourself feeling uncomfortable. But, then again, you are probably used to that and find it comforting in some strange way. Therefore you must be subconsciously seeking it out, and in that case I am more than happy to provide you with feelings of sexual awkwardness.
Our story begins innocently enough, over drinks with a friend. Topics of interest and humor come and go with every passing minute, some serious, some in jest, things just flowing as they do when women gab. The TV is on in the background and a SNL skit comes on featuring Rachel Dratch and Amy Poehler, both of whom I love. The skit is full of innuendo about Oral Sex. It was hysterical, so I am of course laughing my ass off. When all of a sudden my girlfriend says plainly that she could do without my dear Colonel Angus. She said that all of her experiences with Colonel Angus had been less than exciting and more like an exercise in embarrassment and disappointment, and therefore a total waste of time.
She said that, She didn't "get it" at all. WHAT!!??!
well, "obviously you didn't 'get it' was my response." (tee hee, I'm terrible)
but seriously? I felt really bad for her. I mean she's had boyfriends, serious and other and after all these years, there she is, sitting there, telling me that it not only doesn't interest her, but that the thought of having it performed actually turns her off?! huh?!
Ladies, I don't know about you, but I for one LOVE it and think that it's a wonderful and beautiful thing. (when done right) Mainly because it's one of the few times that I am indulging in a little selfish behaviour, and letting someone else take care of my needs, instead of it being like everything else in my life where I'm taking care of everyone else and taking care of myself;)
That being said, it is a vulnerable act of surrender, and self-confidence in one. Not many things are like this. If it's being offered then I say take the bull by the horns, so to speak and use the opportunity to guide the Colonel in the right direction. Don't just write it off. If you do you are missing out.
So in summary give Colonel Angus a chance to peak your excitement, and don't be afraid to be verbal, we all know from other life experience that they won't ask for directions and most of them speed. Just think of yourself as the real life GPS lady.
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