You bring Restoration.
Bring Restoration.
Bring Restoration to my soul.
You take my mourning
and turn it into dancing
You take my sadness
and turn it into joy
You take my weeping
and turn it into laughter
Thank you God for allowing me to hurt, it draws me closer to You.
Thank you God for you never give me more than I can bear.
Thank you God for lifting me, and carrying me when I can no longer stand.
For Your unfailing and constant love, and boundless mercy.
For teaching me humility so that I may be humble before you.
For without You I am nothing. I am, only because You have made it so.
And I belong to You.
Your grace is sufficient.
Please help me to remember that always, and in all circumstances.
You Lord are good ALL the time.
All of my life, in Every season, You are still God and I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship.
Stay with me now. This is my prayer Lord, that I will abide in You.
That I will turn to You, instead of turning inward.
My hearts desire is to submit to You in all things, I long to hear Your voice.
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Nothing compares to the greatness of loving You Lord. Please help me to hold onto that.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Old connections: still as electrifying and illuminating as ever.
Recently I got together with an old friend and I had that moment again. That moment of real connection. Deep friendship and mutual respect.
The moment you get lost in, the one that sweeps you up and you're full in it before you are even close to realizing that it's got you, whether you want it to or not. This is not one of life's trivial moments but one so subtly powerful in weakness that it demands unspoken acknowledgment of both people.
It's amazing to be capable of leaving imprints of ourselves on another human with only the exchange of words, and impact them, change them. It's remarkable really when you think about it.
Looking at someone familiar and them still being new to you. Fun. Intriguing. Understanding. Strong. Weak. That kind of personality that can remain dormant until exactly the right moment and then, there it is, the sparkle.
So the other night I was drawn in by the sparkle and I've been shinning ever since. Inspired
That sparkle, that perspective, encouragement, vulnerability in shared words, thoughts and expressed feelings. All of it had me tied up and completely captivated by the strength and weakness shared.
It took me smiling for 2 days after to fully grasp how having that connection can transfer so many hopeful happy thoughts and what a gift that time is. How rare it is. Quality time.
It's definitely quality that counts.
How that connection is always an open invitation to be your best. To Give your best.
Brave honest vulnerability is a pre-requisite with me.
Along with a sense of humor about yourself.
Anything less you need not apply.
I'll be spending my time with the sparklers.
The moment you get lost in, the one that sweeps you up and you're full in it before you are even close to realizing that it's got you, whether you want it to or not. This is not one of life's trivial moments but one so subtly powerful in weakness that it demands unspoken acknowledgment of both people.
It's amazing to be capable of leaving imprints of ourselves on another human with only the exchange of words, and impact them, change them. It's remarkable really when you think about it.
Looking at someone familiar and them still being new to you. Fun. Intriguing. Understanding. Strong. Weak. That kind of personality that can remain dormant until exactly the right moment and then, there it is, the sparkle.
So the other night I was drawn in by the sparkle and I've been shinning ever since. Inspired
That sparkle, that perspective, encouragement, vulnerability in shared words, thoughts and expressed feelings. All of it had me tied up and completely captivated by the strength and weakness shared.
It took me smiling for 2 days after to fully grasp how having that connection can transfer so many hopeful happy thoughts and what a gift that time is. How rare it is. Quality time.
It's definitely quality that counts.
How that connection is always an open invitation to be your best. To Give your best.
Brave honest vulnerability is a pre-requisite with me.
Along with a sense of humor about yourself.
Anything less you need not apply.
I'll be spending my time with the sparklers.
sleep sickness
I just woke up.
From some kind of dream. It was beautiful, but true only to me.
A delusion.
And this.
This is a nightmare.
To realize everything you thought you shared with someone, only existed for you.
And worse yet that they knew, and played along.
Because it made them feel less lonely.
Less a liar.
Shock. That is what this is.
I never really got that before. Never understood how it affected someone. Paralyzed them.
You get hit it the chest and then, there is just nothing.
Nothing more than the subtle awareness that breathing is now a choice, not automatic.
Remember to breathe.
In and out.
In and out.
And repeat.
Thoughts are crashing into one another, memories.
Memories of a love held together by lies.
And they are holding on so tight in an effort to make some sort of sense.
Until they see what was lost, the trust that once held them as one.
Has been pulled out from beneath them and now they have nothing left to hold.
So they fall, and are lost in a sea of confusion.
I'm left clutching at my heart where a dull ache starts to appear.
I'm left trying to rip my gaze away from the blank wall that I stare at for answers, for comfort, for help and focus on something else.
Something that can help me adjust to this new and foreign place.
A place where words are weapons to deceive, to conquer and capture a heart too naive.
A place where your heart is trophy to hold, when they are lonely and cold, and to abandon at the warm glance of another.
So they can feel good. But they're not…good.
I close my eyes and try desperately to believe what I once did….
To find that beautiful dream again and stay.
But I can't sleep anymore.
From some kind of dream. It was beautiful, but true only to me.
A delusion.
And this.
This is a nightmare.
To realize everything you thought you shared with someone, only existed for you.
And worse yet that they knew, and played along.
Because it made them feel less lonely.
Less a liar.
Shock. That is what this is.
I never really got that before. Never understood how it affected someone. Paralyzed them.
You get hit it the chest and then, there is just nothing.
Nothing more than the subtle awareness that breathing is now a choice, not automatic.
Remember to breathe.
In and out.
In and out.
And repeat.
Thoughts are crashing into one another, memories.
Memories of a love held together by lies.
And they are holding on so tight in an effort to make some sort of sense.
Until they see what was lost, the trust that once held them as one.
Has been pulled out from beneath them and now they have nothing left to hold.
So they fall, and are lost in a sea of confusion.
I'm left clutching at my heart where a dull ache starts to appear.
I'm left trying to rip my gaze away from the blank wall that I stare at for answers, for comfort, for help and focus on something else.
Something that can help me adjust to this new and foreign place.
A place where words are weapons to deceive, to conquer and capture a heart too naive.
A place where your heart is trophy to hold, when they are lonely and cold, and to abandon at the warm glance of another.
So they can feel good. But they're not…good.
I close my eyes and try desperately to believe what I once did….
To find that beautiful dream again and stay.
But I can't sleep anymore.
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