It's not you, it's me. I don't like you.

Someone told me today that I had the perfect face for toques and that they themselves were in fact jealous of my toque wearing skills. Apparently my face is the "perfectly round little cute squishy face" needed to pull off that sophisticated toque look.

Don't get me wrong, I do see that their intention was to compliment me. Which I DO greatly appreciate. That being said, I seem to draw these types of "compliments" quite frequently (no I'm not bragging), actually I'm wondering if it's me, or them. I mean it's like saying to a midget, "hey, you're sooo lucky that you are that short cause you can shop in the Youth/Jr section and save a ton of cash. I wish I was that short." or "hey, that MuuMuu (or Moo Moo) looks fabulous on you!! I wish I had the figure to pull off a MuuMuu the way you do! Gosh, so adorable." Do you see where I'm going here. Compliment …. Sure.. But really??? Yeah. .. . No.

Example number deux: I was at a party once where I was introduced to another woman and her response was to excitedly inform me that I looked,"just like that movie star!! Ohhhhh what's her name again? Um, from silence of the lambs? I say," You mean Jodie Foster." (knowing that we both have blond hair, pale skin and are females) She snaps her fingers and exclaims, "yes!! Yes, Jodie Foster! Exactly. .. Well except just a little chubbier" (yep, and there she stood, smiling, all proud of herself for complimenting me)

Really? REALLY?! I'm pretty sure that I already came to that conclusion when you made the comparison. OBVIOUSLY, you meant that we share a vague likeness, not that we were identical twins separated at birth, because after all Jodie Foster is rail thin and should probably be sponsored monthly by a World Vision type organization to ensure quality medical care and a steady food supply. I on the other hand… AM NOT BLIND. HELLOOO McFLY, I look in the mirror everyday and it has yet to escape my attention that I'm not exactly in danger of starving.

But hey dipshit .. It's a good thing you clarified that whole chubbier distinction out loud, because I was just about to have my name legally changed to Jodie Foster all because of your asinine compliment. Whewww!!!! Close call.

I was SO taken with her compliment that I felt equally as moved to bestow one of my own. "That's soo weird," I say, "you look just like that Super Model!! Ohhhh what is her name?? Uh, yeah, Claudia Schifferrrrrr..'s retarded cousin."
And smiling.. Smiling…. Silence.
ZINGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And plie and curtsy and moving on to the open bar.

Seriously, I know it was a childish and shallow move on my part, but honestly, I couldn't resist.
I mean, WHO does that????
Whores. Whores do that.