The heart that held you

I know I should've closed the door..
After you left, should've shut it and walked away.
Burned down the house that held you,
the letters,
the words,
every moment you lived in,
every waking dream that kept you alive.
Burned them all and thrown ash to wind.
Instead I sat there..
fell to the ground and rooted in wait... in longing... in love.
With you.
With an illusion created in part by me,
magic my strong suit it seemed,
all wrapped in the convincing spell that you weaved.
And before I could breathe my heart had deceived.. itself.
Thinking it meant to you, all that you had meant to me.
In your absence, eyes awake, I saw my pain in love innate.
Suddenly we were everything and nothing all at once.
An impossibility, both in love and loss,
And I, was emptiness replete.
In silence I sat, staring...
waiting to close the door, but hope was in the way.
That you'd return...
That your heart would stay.
That magic would blind these eyes again.
That you'd light my way...
but yours was always an illusory light.
And I could never follow.



------






Illusory Light

"I knew exactly,

I knew exactly what this would feel like
I knew this day was coming,

I knew it right from the start

I could see it in your eyes, but I just didn't care
I knew the days were numbered, but I fell anyway

I knew exactly, I knew exactly what you would be to me
A scar on the horizon, a perfect dim illusory light

And I held it in my hands to protect it from the wind
But the more I held on, I knew I'd lose it again

You blew in like a breeze and rolled out like a storm
I know you didn't think it'd do any harm

I knew exactly, I knew exactly what this would feel like
To hear the same voice that said 'hello'... say 'goodbye'"

- Sara Blasko

"Don't put your happiness in other people's hands.
They'll drop it.


They'll drop it every time."

- C.Barzak