Hello Again

 

 

I'm finding myself again, but it's taken me a long time to get here, a long time to remember the me that I was before I wrapped myself in and around someone else. To the point where I forgot all about who I was without them. Don't lose yourself in anyone, don't get so wrapped up that you forget who you really are, and what you love about yourself. Remember to love yourself enough, that you don't need to find it in another. Remember to love yourself enough to make the hard decisions.

Remember to choose you.  

The Good-Bye Lie

One day soon you'll be happy again..
One day maybe.. you'll say I'm forgiven.
I swear to god I never meant to hurt you,
But I know that the words that I used do.
How they replay themselves in your heart.
How they're the only thing you can hear in the dark.
And the way that I lied,
When I said Good-bye...
I knew that you were looking right through me.
I just pray that one day, you'll see.
That this choice was for me and for you.
And that every word that I said, killed me too.
That I am more sorry, than you will ever know...
That I love you enough... to let you go...
And for now at least, I'll look at you,
and breathe, and smile, and just pretend..
that we were never anything more than friends.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so god damn sorry...


------





"Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"

Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve
As I've done from the start

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on
 

- Sleeping At Last

 

iii

❝ You were the antidote I savoured when the 
poison was left to writhe. The small bowl of 
water, porcelain rimmed, I placed my sunburnt
feet in to sooth. That’s the problem
with drowning in people just to make yourself 
feel worthy. That is the issue with thinking that
you are all the more beautiful because of the ruins,
that savouring your own pity is romantic, that 
revelling in melancholy is cute. It’s not.

There is you and there is me, there is all
the words we could have said but didn’t, all the 
flavours we could have consumed but just let 
the hunger linger, instead. You leave words to 
roar and they turn into a god damn hurricane.
I promise myself different things each time, 
like how I’ll say goodbye and mean it, 
how I’ll walk away and don’t dare look back. 
One day I hope to read your favourite book 
and think solely about the characters, 
the lettering, the love, but not you. Never you.

We tend to waste so much time existing in a state
of lamentation. Each second I decide to let you go,
to breathe space into love, to treat you like an ancient memory, is a victory. ❞


—— Contramonte, “Toward A Better Love”

Sometimes

"Sometimes someone hurts you so bad...
....it stops hurting at all.

Until something makes you feel again...
And then it all comes back.
Every word.
Every hurt.
Every moment."

- Anonymous

Sometimes it's time to set fire to your life.
Fan the flames and say your good-byes.
And move on again. ..
Keep moving forward.. .
Don't look back.
The past is the past.
There is nothing there for you anymore.

And sometimes... you realize that your present has become your past.
And there you are left standing in the middle of it all...
When this happens...let it go and stop living there.
Hearts don't live off of memories.
They choke on them. They suffocate.
So learn what you can and leave.
You don't belong there anymore.



------







"Belong"

Wake up lonely with you by my side
One more night it doesn't feel
There are movies playing in your eyes
You dream of our fortunes

But you're wrong
I don't belong to you

The moon is the only friend I have outside
One more drink and I'll be healed
I told you the words and then knew it was a lie
I wish I could offer an appeal

You're wrong
I don't belong
You're wrong
I don't belong to you

What I'd give for that first night when you were mine
Tried with all that I have to keep you alive

I wasn't taught this way
With a thousand things to say
I was born with a broken heart
What I'd give for that first night when you were mine
Thought you were mine

So I'll put this cigarette to bed
Pull some sheets from off your side
I put my arm around you safe in the night
Still dreaming of fortune
But you're wrong
I don't belong
You're wrong
I don't belong
I don't belong

- Cary Brothers