Thursday, March 14, 2013
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs
Friday, March 8, 2013
To the walking wounded, the next step is yours...
I want to talk about labels, ones others give us and ones we give ourselves. Ones that we take and make into badges and wear them, some of us, letting them define who we are.
I'm here to say don't.
I'm here to say that what happens to you doesn't become you, it doesn't encompass you or dictate who you are as a person, not without your ok. Not without your consent. Now I'm not saying that these events, relationships "successful" or "failed", moments of love and loss, a first kiss or the death of a loved one don't contribute to shaping who you are, that they don't impact you in very real and deeply profound ways. All of these things give you an opportunity to shape yourself, through promise, through pain, or through fear. You either choose to grow and overcome, to keep hope alive and live everyday preparing for the next good thing, or to accept defeat, to succumb to the weight of whatever knocked you down, and broke your heart and stay there, preparing for the next bad thing. You choose life, now, here, present. Or you choose to live as the walking dead, wasting every single precious moment that you have that could have been more...
Labels.... badges... identity. What do you want to identify yourself with? Who are you?
Because I need to tell you something ... You are more than just a pretty face. You are more than your bank account. You are more than your race. You are more than your sexual orientation. You are more than your divorce. You are more than your depression. You are more than your disability. You are more than your rape. You are more than your abortion. You are more than the abuse that you endured. You are more than the leftovers of someones else's mistakes and bad choices and failings, and YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR OWN.
You are not fat, or ugly, or stupid, or weak. Or unworthy. Or unwanted. Or unseen.
So today, ask yourself, "who am I?" And when you answer be good to yourself, be kind, be loving, be compassionate, be supportive, be all the things you would be to someone that you loved above all else.
Because you deserve that same kind of love, and acceptance and encouragement.
More importantly stop looking for it in others, because your own opinion of yourself is the one that matters most, and other people will always fall short, and disappoint you at sometime, they are human. You need to be able to have self-sustaining love for your own self, then when you give your love to another it won't be because you need it from them in return, because you are empty, it will be because you are so full that you can't help but give it away.
I'm here to say don't.
I'm here to say that what happens to you doesn't become you, it doesn't encompass you or dictate who you are as a person, not without your ok. Not without your consent. Now I'm not saying that these events, relationships "successful" or "failed", moments of love and loss, a first kiss or the death of a loved one don't contribute to shaping who you are, that they don't impact you in very real and deeply profound ways. All of these things give you an opportunity to shape yourself, through promise, through pain, or through fear. You either choose to grow and overcome, to keep hope alive and live everyday preparing for the next good thing, or to accept defeat, to succumb to the weight of whatever knocked you down, and broke your heart and stay there, preparing for the next bad thing. You choose life, now, here, present. Or you choose to live as the walking dead, wasting every single precious moment that you have that could have been more...
Labels.... badges... identity. What do you want to identify yourself with? Who are you?
Because I need to tell you something ... You are more than just a pretty face. You are more than your bank account. You are more than your race. You are more than your sexual orientation. You are more than your divorce. You are more than your depression. You are more than your disability. You are more than your rape. You are more than your abortion. You are more than the abuse that you endured. You are more than the leftovers of someones else's mistakes and bad choices and failings, and YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR OWN.
You are not fat, or ugly, or stupid, or weak. Or unworthy. Or unwanted. Or unseen.
So today, ask yourself, "who am I?" And when you answer be good to yourself, be kind, be loving, be compassionate, be supportive, be all the things you would be to someone that you loved above all else.
Because you deserve that same kind of love, and acceptance and encouragement.
More importantly stop looking for it in others, because your own opinion of yourself is the one that matters most, and other people will always fall short, and disappoint you at sometime, they are human. You need to be able to have self-sustaining love for your own self, then when you give your love to another it won't be because you need it from them in return, because you are empty, it will be because you are so full that you can't help but give it away.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
"I think at this point in our world, we've got a really confused idea of the way gender and sexuality works. I think we've created this really superfluous sort of like binary in the way we think about gender. And I guess I identify with queer because I don't identify with that. I think that makes us less whole as people. I don't need to be assigned to what it is I can do or who I can love. And it seems like we keep drawing these battle lines which are completely unnecessary. So that's what I basically mean. When I say I'm queer, I'm saying that I think human beings are amazing. And love is an honour and an opportunity. And a fragile thing. A fragile process in which there is no room for doubt, or shame, or hatred." - Ezra Miller.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
From My Heart to Yours..
"I vow to love you fiercely in all your different forms, with the patience that love demands. I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to live in the warmth of your heart and always call it home." - The Vow
I choose to be with you for all the things you've done right, and not to leave you for the things that you've done wrong. I promise to accept and love you for who you are and not for who I want you to be. To keep your heart safe and to let you into mine. I promise to be honest with you, even when it's hard, when it hurts, even when I'm scared.
I promise to always kiss you good night and warm my feet on yours. And to sing to you when your heart's sad. To tell you I love you as many times as you need to hear it. "I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions" - Augusten Burroughs, this is what I have to offer, it may not be much but I will love you with every ounce of it. I promise to hold your heart in my hands and give you all that I am. To be all in.
I choose to be with you for all the things you've done right, and not to leave you for the things that you've done wrong. I promise to accept and love you for who you are and not for who I want you to be. To keep your heart safe and to let you into mine. I promise to be honest with you, even when it's hard, when it hurts, even when I'm scared.
I promise to always kiss you good night and warm my feet on yours. And to sing to you when your heart's sad. To tell you I love you as many times as you need to hear it. "I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions" - Augusten Burroughs, this is what I have to offer, it may not be much but I will love you with every ounce of it. I promise to hold your heart in my hands and give you all that I am. To be all in.
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