Smile

I want to thank a friend today, for reminding me of this song, and for reminding me that there is always them to call, and that they will be there tomorrow, just like they were there today. thank you for being my constant and gentle hug and kick in the pants.


"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile"

-Nat King Cole

A new me, a new dream...let everything old pass away

They say that the inability to accept loss is a form insanity. If that's the case then I would say that I've been semi-insane for the last 9 years, give or take. But I've finally woken up, finally stopped lying to myself about what I want to be true and what IS true. I've realized the difference between words, as beautiful and moving as they are, and action. Words can mean so much, can create feelings, hopes, beliefs. Everything can be built on them. That is where the danger lies. Words with no action behind them, are empty. They can't sustain a heart. They may bring it to extrodinary heights, but they can't hold it there. Eventually it will awake, and find itself lying on the ground, never really having left. Just believing it had.

And now looking back, eventhough I never really had that thing that I love so dearly in the first place, that realization alone is an enormous loss for me. It explains why I was never able to accept it. No heart can dream forever, everyone has to wake up sometime.

They say that the inability to accept loss is a form of insanity, but sometimes it's the only way to stay alive. Physically, the human body is designed to compensate for loss, it adapts, hopefully that same principle extends to the human heart.

Perception and reality

"The collective cultural trance prevents us from seeing our divinity. We are like flies crossing the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. We cannot see what angels and gods lie underneath the thresholds of our perceptions. We do not live in reality."

~ W.Thompson



What is it that you see? Do you look past what's presented? What's right in front of you? Or is that more than you can bear? Are you scared of what you'll see, because when you look behind the curtain, it may require, action, commitment, effort, or change? What are you willing to give? to invest? In yourself, in someone else, in a belief? Make this life count. Realize the miracle that it is, that you've been allowed to experience and participate in something amazing. Open your eyes and BE thankful for it all. The pleasure and the pain. The reality is that there is beauty and strength in it all, if you are willing to perceive it..

The Fall

Every day I wake, and give you away, and lose you again... and again.
Every day I'm left, with your ghost by my side, dancing like leaves in the wind.
Never knowing that this was their end.

I'm a lady and as such...

I reserve the right to change my mind.

After talking with a dear friend of mine, i came to the conclusion that maybe this blog isn't just cathartic and healing for me...hmmmm. weird concept, but one that i can buy into thanks largely due to my penchant for flattery.

Therefore i vow to keep writing and posting, periodically at the very least.

not sure how entertaining it'll be, i'm leading an uneventful life these days now that i'm officially an unemployed wafe (short for wafer for those of you who aren't up with the hip lingo;)

but cross your fingers and we'll see where this ride takes us.

Sincerely,
Lady Day