chloroform
earmuffs/plugs
Extra Strength pediatric/children's tranquilizers
an answer to the never ending question of "but why mom?"
a dozen Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes (creme filled)
2 bottles of wine (incase one isn't enough)
1 size 6x childs straitjacket
1 size 2T childs straitjacket
a Plymouth rock sub from safeway
6 pack of Stella
OTH season 7 (i'm about to start a marathon)
a heating pad
family pack of robaxicet platinum
if you have any of the above, please send to:
1 Insane Lane
Crazytown, MB
Canada
OOH FME
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
I had a talk with myself last night....it seemed to be that time again
There something to be said for reflection, for remembering the moments that shaped you, even the painful ones. Especially those ones. Those are the ones that bring pro-longed and lasting change, and strength. Happy ones are great, don't get me wrong, but in my own personal experience, the painful ones are the ones that burn deep enough in the memory of the heart to scar, to remind, to purify.
There are a lot of me's. Happy me, thoughtful me, patient me, selfish me, neurotic me, pensive me, mom me, wife me, friend me, daughter me,crazy me, emotional me, etc, I call them the other me's. We all have them. But there is one true me. It's made up of all the other me's plus the me that is mixed with you. It's the me that sits next to you on the couch and breathes in time with you. It's calm and centered me, it's completely vulnerable and unabashedly honest me.
It's wonderful, and incredibly easy to get comfortable being that me, and that's the problem.
Because when I look around, it is just me, alone, in that moment. Exposed while you've kept your distance, as usual.
And then it floods back to my memory, as it should, to wake me up, to keep me safe, to remind me. .. to always be the other me. To give me the strength to be only her. So I let myself remember everything, I let myself remember how to walk away and give you what you wanted.
The talk
I had to tell my heart today
That yours had gone away.
I had to hold it while it cried,
And asked why yours didn’t stay.
I said, “Sometimes things happen,
And that love is not enough.”
I said, “Sometimes we can’t hang on,
And that letting go is tough.”
It sobbed and asked me where yours went,
And why it didn’t say good-bye?
It asked why you said you’d never leave,
And how your heart could lie?
I told it that I didn’t know,
And that we were on our own.
It told me that it would have loved you still,
Even if it would have known.
It told me that it felt empty,
That it felt sad, used and alone.
It told me that your heart had been,
The place that it called home.
So I took it in my hands,
And held it while it wept.
It cried for all the promises
That your heart never kept.
I knew my heart was broken,
Though it did not say a word.
It closed its doors and locked them,
So it would not be heard.
I took the deepest breath I could,
As tears fell from my face.
Because I knew my heart would never leave,
The darkness of this place.
There are a lot of me's. Happy me, thoughtful me, patient me, selfish me, neurotic me, pensive me, mom me, wife me, friend me, daughter me,crazy me, emotional me, etc, I call them the other me's. We all have them. But there is one true me. It's made up of all the other me's plus the me that is mixed with you. It's the me that sits next to you on the couch and breathes in time with you. It's calm and centered me, it's completely vulnerable and unabashedly honest me.
It's wonderful, and incredibly easy to get comfortable being that me, and that's the problem.
Because when I look around, it is just me, alone, in that moment. Exposed while you've kept your distance, as usual.
And then it floods back to my memory, as it should, to wake me up, to keep me safe, to remind me. .. to always be the other me. To give me the strength to be only her. So I let myself remember everything, I let myself remember how to walk away and give you what you wanted.
The talk
I had to tell my heart today
That yours had gone away.
I had to hold it while it cried,
And asked why yours didn’t stay.
I said, “Sometimes things happen,
And that love is not enough.”
I said, “Sometimes we can’t hang on,
And that letting go is tough.”
It sobbed and asked me where yours went,
And why it didn’t say good-bye?
It asked why you said you’d never leave,
And how your heart could lie?
I told it that I didn’t know,
And that we were on our own.
It told me that it would have loved you still,
Even if it would have known.
It told me that it felt empty,
That it felt sad, used and alone.
It told me that your heart had been,
The place that it called home.
So I took it in my hands,
And held it while it wept.
It cried for all the promises
That your heart never kept.
I knew my heart was broken,
Though it did not say a word.
It closed its doors and locked them,
So it would not be heard.
I took the deepest breath I could,
As tears fell from my face.
Because I knew my heart would never leave,
The darkness of this place.
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