The Perfect Gift

Now that that is off my chest I would like to take a minute to make a notable mention to someone on the complete and total opposite end of the mental spectrum.

today, I was unbelievably touched by the kindness and thoughtfulness of one of the sweetest human beings that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. A very dear friend of mine, surprised me today, I mean REALLY and truly, surprised me. She got me a gift, a beautiful gift by the way, gorgeous... anyways, as I was saying, she got me this gift totally out of the blue. When I asked her why, she simply replied,"I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate and value you and all that you've done for me..."

C'mon!! As if, right?
(I was shocked... and very deeply and profoundly moved.)

To think that someone took the time to go out of their way to surprise me, to acknowledge my presence in their life.

wow. It really made me think.
and feel....
To be thought of, to feel really appreciated. To realize for a moment the impact that I can have on someone else, their life, their happiness. It felt good, and a little overwhelming too. .. but good.

So thank you to you my dear, you know who you are.
much love.

Fuckin Perry.

Fucking Perry!
seriously??!!?
This guy at work is killing me.
Nope, cancel that.
If he was actually killing me, I'd be better off.
Today he drove me so unbelievably insane with his never ending barrage of completely unrelated to anything pertinent questions and his "boy that cried wolf" false alarms, that I circled the incinerator .. twice, debating if I should waste my time trying to lure him there and dispose of his useless ass. (To be honest with you the thought of just having to talk to him again was enough for me to seriously consider just throwing myself in.) I also toyed with the possibility of orchestrating an unfortunate forklift "accident" and bump him off that way.

The guy's like RainMan's slightly awkwarder, but totally more mental older brother.
And what IS UP with the vacant stares/giggling???
when he's talking to you, (I use the words "to you" loosely) you are literally left with the feeling that there is someone right behind you, like over your shoulder about to touch you inappropriately or steal your wallet, behind you. I physically have to pause every few seconds just to double check, he's that convincing.

I know some of you are thinking, "awww, poor him, you're too hard on him. He's probably just eccentric. Give the guy a break."

To you folks I say, "ah, yeeeeeah. no."
He's a creep, handing out the heebiee jeebie's like they're balloons at the fair, goofy grin and all.

There is always one crazytown in the bunch, that is just sooo my luck.
Fucking Perry.

Round n' Round We Go...

I walk around,
and back to you.
You pull me down,
and I sit through,
all the bullshit.

You yell, I laugh.
You reach, I duck.
You swing, I run.
You cry, we fuck.
Do you feel better yet?

You think you're so clever,
with your "I want you" eyes,
and your "I own you" lips.
With your "sly cunning" smile,
and your "come fuck me" hips.
but I'm winning..
and you're too self absorbed to realize.

And anyday I'll walk away.
I'll close my eyes,
and end this game..
Because it bores me, and I'm tired.

You'll beg me to stay,
and you'll start to yell,
and I'll start to laugh,
because we both know, that I'm all that you have.
But you don't even have that anymore..

Breathe

I breathe you in,
Light as a feather touching the cheek of a child that's sleeping,
I breathe you in,
Warm like the sunlight brushing the surface on an ocean that's gleaming.
And you come to me,
With a subtle urgency,
You move in me,
With a grace and mercy.
Love is what is,
A force to be bound by.
It does what it wants,
There's no manual, no guidelines.
And you make it so, appealing.
So all consuming.
That I'm drowning, falling slowly,
Sinking…losing.
This time I'm letting go, of all the fears, and all the no's.
The reasons why, the regretful sighs,
The heavy chest, the choked on breaths,
To all of them I say good-bye.
And hello to you,
My salvation, my muse.
And so I breathe you in,
Just like the stars, shine with a stillness that captures a moment
I breathe you in,
And hold you here with me, love kept and unspoken.

The Dance

We dance the same old dance and each time you dip me I fall harder than before.
And you twirl me and you throw me,
I'm disoriented and confused.
I see you look at her and hold me tight,
I feel used.
You let me go, I start to spin,
I close my eyes...afraid that I'll fall again.
So I hold my breath, I won't share that with her too.
Because it's mine, and mine alone.
In the end we stand again, I look sad, you call me 'friend'.
But I still have my breath, as I always will.
And even now, as we stand still,
the music starts and the crowd begins to sway.
You ask me to dance, and I say..
yes.
In the end we dance the same old dance, again.

The sky's the Limit, so whatever shall I do?

I've decided that there are too many things that I need to do before I look in the mirror and realize that I'm too old to do them.

So here it is, I'm rolling out it out and I suggest you all do the same:

dun da da da...... JUNE's BUCKET LIST:

1) Make my own bread, homeade, by me.

2) Lose 8 pounds, and yes I did read item number 1 on this list.

3) Try a taste of my husbands and sons favorite food - canned herring fillets(barf)

4) Get a good foundation going for an actual tan this year. look into getting said tan in July/Aug... possibly. tanning is not an exact science when you are part Albino.

5) Write a song.

6) Take a trip to West Edmonton Mall ( i know it sounds like a set up, but i needed at least one gimmie on this list.)

7) work one full weekend without complaining about how awful it is to work there.

8) Find a goal for autumn.

9) Purchase a plant that I will not kill within 2 weeks of it living with me.

10) Go a full two weeks without stressing or checking finances.

Babysteps people, babysteps